Weird title…. I mean if I friendship is broken… it’s already ended right? I guess it’s one of those interesting play on words. However, this is what brings me to be up blogging at 2am on this Sunday night/Monday morning.
So often of late I find myself feeling so alone, even while knowing beyond knowing that I am far from alone. Not only do I have the Best Friend anyone could ever ask for in The Lord Jesus, I also have a fantastic Husband, who, while having his faults, tries every day to be the best he can be. On top of that, I have a Mum who supports me, prays for me and has run me around for 12yrs since becoming a Mumma in 2001. I now know that God is simply wanting me to rely on HIM and Him alone in all situations.
There are fragments in my family…. fragments I don’t like, and fragments it seems I can do nothing to repair/put back together. Have I taken some responsibility for some of this fragmenting? Have I been repentant for my part? Of course, but unfortunately, you can want to repair something until the cows come home, but if the other part of the equation isn’t interested… all you can do it leave it at The Cross !
So, I need to do what I never thought I would to do with one of my family members….. brush the dust off my feet and walk away. I’m praying God will give me the strength to do this and give me the on-going strength to continue in my decision. I will lean heavily on this scripture to enable this to happen. Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Funny thing is… I always thought I had such a great family… We had our troubles of course, as all families do, but we always came back together when needed, no matter what may have gone down in recent times. Now… it seems different. We’re not united anymore…. in any shape or form… and it’s sad… really really sad. I shouldn’t really be surprised though… after Marriage, Family is the enemy’s favourite playground …. but he won’t succeed here… although it may appear he has on the surface.
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,
OK…. so why is my blog entitled ‘the end of a broken friendship’ if I’m talking about my family? Now, that is a very long story, but we’ll just paraphrase and say that schemes the enemy will use to attack you can be like a spiders web. I am so thankful for growth though. While times are often so hard, I am able to look back at myself 2yrs ago and hardly recognise myself. Fully welcoming the Holy Spirit living within me has begun my transformation into the person God created me to be… I have no idea what is ahead, but I know it’s going to be a blast…. and that God has a plan for me !!
I am going to Colour with my favourite sister (Yes, I do only have one, but that’s not the point :0)) in March, and I simply cannot wait for what God has in store for me over those three days. I have never been before and have often wanted to go, but I’m able to look back now and see that I wasn’t ready prior to now. Even last year, when I had definitely made some steps towards a closer relationship with God, I still had influences in my life that God did not wish me to have. It’s only now that a very negative influence has been removed fully that I can embrace EVERYTHING in my life. Once again, I’ll lean on the above scriptures in order to keep this influence from infiltrating my life again. Thank The Lord for the Godly women I have around me and supporting me. I know it’s easily said, but I still pinch myself at how blessed I am by the ‘family’ I now have around me. What did I do to deserve such blessings? Well, I trusted in The Lord to give them to me.
Sorry my blog itself was rather fragmented, but hey, it is now 2.30am…. I really should be sleeping… Nighty night peeps !! xox