I found this blog entry … And seriously I could have written this word for word !!!! It screams my exact feelings and decisions !! The blog entry is written by Candace Cameron Bure……… I hope you enjoy reading it.
I am failing my family!
Sounds dramatic and it is. There is no catch. NO secondary line to soften it up and make light of it.
I am failing my children.
I’ve been doing what I thought was my best to raise my kids in a Christian home despite not being raised in one myself. ( ok, that last but doesn’t apply to me. ) My husband is a believer of 8 years but still trying to find himself as our spiritual leader. ( that’s my Husband right there… Love him to pieces). I try my best to be the example to them as a woman, wife, mother and role model, effortlessly falling short in some way every day while letting life get the better of me and my self control.
Here’s where I’ve ended up:
I used to read my kids bible stories every night. I used to make games out of memorizing scripture. I used to test them on bible facts over dinner giving them prizes if they got the answers right. I used dance around the house singing worship songs and inviting them to play along with me. I used to buy them a bible study and devotional each year in hopes of them spending time with the Lord each morning on their own. I used to go over their questions and answers with them when they did. I used to pray individually with them each night before bed.
And somehow, as my kids became preteens and teenagers, (nearly) I’ve slacked. Attitudes seem to be the norm at this age, but the disrespect and disobedience shouldn’t be. Not if my kids know Christ. I don’t expect perfection and do expect mistakes, but what I don’t understand is the lack of humility and remorse. No, not by the way I’ve raised them… not by the things I’ve taught them for the last 13 years. Sure, there are always glimpses of goodness but they seem to be getting farther and fewer as time goes on. Since when did my child become “that kid” ?
My heart aches, my heart cries, my heart screams out….
Why? Where did I go wrong? Why isn’t this working out the way I thought it would? What’s the deal?
When did I stop reading the bible to my kids? When did I stop encouraging them along in their faith? When did I think their Christian school would be the influence? When did I let youth group become the teacher? When did I think that by letting them see me do my bible study every day it would be enough and not have to do one with them? When did I stop getting involved because I “hoped” they would take the lead on their own?
There’s never been an easy time to raise children or teenagers. With each decade comes new challenges that grandparents didn’t experience with their kids. Times are always changing but God’s word doesn’t. New solutions will arise but God’s word always stays the same. So we share, we pray, we encourage one another.
You have encouraged me.
I must be a teacher in my home. I must help my children read the word of God every day. How else will they know it? If they haven’t developed their own relationship with Christ at this point, it’s only going to get weaker as they get older. I mistook giving them independence for letting go of my responsibilities. The cycle stops here.
Praise be to God for showing me my failure. Praise be to God for giving me grace. Praise be to God for giving me the tools to raise Godly children. It’s all in the bible. We have to read it. We have to discuss it. We have to apply it. We have to live it.
You learn a new habit by repeating it day after day. How will my kids know God if I’m not teaching them every single day? There are no excuses. There is not a big enough event. There isn’t too much homework. There isn’t an important enough hockey game. There isn’t too little time in the day. There aren’t too many meetings. If I don’t fulfill this calling, I’m not only failing my family, but failing my responsibilities before God.
Thank you to all my blogger friends for encouraging me with your posts. Thank you for helping me recognize my faults and pointing me in the direction I need to go. I’m thankful for this community. I pray that you too will be encouraged to know you’re not alone. I pray that you’ll be nudged out of your comfort zone. Many of us well intentioned moms stumble along the way. Just remember that all the compliments from others doesn’t mean there aren’t places to improve. It’s easy to hide behind the best parts of life we choose to show each other on Facebook. I pray that like me, you too will be convicted to get off your seat and make no excuses to read the bible to your kids. Everyday.
Let’s hold each other accountable.
“We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.” Hebrews 6:12