Hello there Peeps…
Today was a very productive school day which was exactly what was needed after yesterday’s stress. A few tests are scheduled for the morning, so here’s praying we have a fabulous night’s sleep tonight in preparation. I, unfortunately, have not slept well for the last two nights now due to a stress that shouldn’t actually be there anyway. (Don’t you hate those ones.)
I’m having another of those “Feeling lonely, and yet I know I’m not alone” kinda arv & evenings. In these times, I press into The Lord like never before.
I have had a family related stress/hurt on my heart for a year and a half now, and today I’ve decided to put an end to it… or at least attempt to. I need to constantly remind myself that I can’t control anyone else’s decisions.. only my own. I can’t control anyone else’s heart condition… only my own.
It all comes back to Audience of One !! If I’m letting anyone else’s opinion of me… or the untruths they are saying of me to others effect me, then I’m in fact NOT living with an ‘audience of One’ mentality. It’s humbling to be brought back to this mindset when needed. Humbling… and refreshing… and JUST WHAT I NEED !!
I do feel like I live a bit of a double life at times, as I know I do put a fairly happy disposition forward, and don’t get me wrong… I AM a happy person, but I do have many struggles within my own family that make me feel terribly alone… when in fact I know I’m not… hence the ‘naming’ of this kind of day.
I long for the day….. and more importantly PRAY for the day, when I will have a lighter shield, a spiritual leader in my home, and in some ways… a mentor within my home. I don’t know why…. well, actually I do suspect why… but I CRAVE to receive rich teaching from my husband. I so want him to be that little bit further down the road than me in his spiritual walk…. rather than the other way around. I have questions/concerns/wonderful revelations etc, and I so want to share them with the most important man in my life, but I can’t… which more often than not, leads me to these periods of feeling desperately alone.
I receive so much love and comfort from my Heavenly Father in these times. I am beyond blessed to be a daughter of The Most High God !! I do know that walking the road God has marked out for me can be tough… and lonely at times…. but only lonely in the human sense. I KNOW He is walking beside me at all times.
Deuteronomy 28:1-3And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field.
Blessings Peeps !!