I’m afraid it’s just a short one tonight.
I’d love to say that I’m jumping off the grief train and jumping aboard the ‘getting my head back in the game’ train… but really it’s like when you have to change trains at Central station… you’re still going in the same direction, but the line you were on wasn’t quite going where you needed to get. I’m most definitely riding the ‘God’s will’ system of travel, and sometimes a train change is needed.
It’s not that I’ve ‘fallen off the fitness wagon’ at all as there hasn’t been a time when I haven’t exercised, but if I compare it to my commitment last year, it just doesn’t cut the mustard, if you know what I mean.
Riding the ‘preparing for my Dad’s passing’ train, and then very unwillingly boarding the ‘grief’ train has certainly put a spoke in the program. But I can only thank my Heavenly Father for getting me to a point where I can get back to focusing on it, and i”m SUPER HAPPY ABOUT IT !!!
Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe.
It’s said by many that one can’t be forced to want to lose weight, or get fit… it’s a mindset you need to get in yourself, or no success will be found. I’ve found this to be so true since my Dad went Home, as I’ve certainly tried to get my head in the game with my commitment, to no avail. It’s confused me no end, but I’ve found that you can’t do it ‘because you should be’. It needs to be something you really WANT to do or achieve.
My mindset really was something like “I haven’t exercised enough this week”, or I”I haven’t lifted any weights this week”…. “I NEED to be doing this in order to stay at the fitness level I’d achieved”. But my HEART simply wasn’t in it, coz, well, it was broken into a thousand million pieces. I gotta say, even I’m super impressed with Jesus on this one.. and Yes, I’m usually pretty darn impressed with Him. If you had told me 3.5 months ago that by now The Lord will have put those pieces back together, with the exception of the one piece I’ll not have again until I go Home myself, I never would have believed you.
Now, don’t get my wrong, a lot of tears still spill through that ‘Dad sized hole’ in my heart, but as I’ve said before, Deep Grief is a result of Deep Love.. and that’s not something I’m ever going to beat myself up about. (or allow others to beat my up about it.. Yes, that’s happened.)
Exodus 15:2a The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. This is my God, and I will praise him.
So, I’ll try and get onto some more #respectthetemple blogs for you guys. I’ve come up with several great healthy family recipes in the last few weeks, so I’ll get to sharing them with you.
Thanks for riding this journey with me.