Hi blog readers,
I know it’s been a while… I’ve been busy doing life.. still finding my ‘new normal’ without Dad. The 6mth mark of his passing fell on my 41st b’day this month. I was really worried it would be a particularly rough day, but as it turned out, the day before was rather horrendous, leaving my actual birthday to be a day of no tears whatsoever. Yay for God’s awesome timing !
What I wanted to share with you tonight though is that I’m constantly blown away at how The Lord has carried me through this time.
I can honestly say to you that, while in the early stages, it was a case of 95% gut wrenching sadness, and 5% joy….. it has now done a complete 180. I am able to find so much joy in my memories with Dad, but not only that, his pictures that are on my walls. Whenever there is something going on, an important event, friends over for dinner, etc etc.. I will always look up to Dad’s face on the wall, the huge grin he has on his face, and am reminded that the joy on his face in that picture does not even come close to portraying the joy he wears on his face every second of every day now.
And the 5% gut wrenching sadness is much more toned down to a general longing for the physical presence of my Dad in my life. The actual gut wrenching, ugly cry moments are really quite rare now. it’s rather a bummer though that they can come out of nowhere… at the shops, in the garden… on a walk.. arrggghh. #growththroughpainright
I’ve had 2 particularly comforting times of late involving Dad. One was when I had a bit of a health scare last month and was given a vision of Dad. It comforted me that, while he wasn’t beaming from ear to ear, something about his face told me he was not in anyway concerned. I cannot even tell you how much easier, what was a very scary time, became after that.
The second was this morning when I was having my morning prayer time. I often ask God to give me Dad a hug and tell him I love him and miss me. This morning, after saying that, I laughed and said “and tell him I’m more than a little jealous of his residential situation.” Before I could even process a thought, I very distinctly heard Dad laugh.
Now, don’t get me wrong… I don’t actually believe this is Dad I’m hearing or seeing, but God comforting me in the way in which I’ll be most comforted.
Before going any further… anyone else totally frustrated that they forgot a colour out of God’s rainbow at the top of the screen?? lol. Ya gotta laugh at times, or this madness will engulf us.. but hey, that’s for another blog that would mostly likely be blocked anyway.
Sorry it’s only a short one tonight but wanted to share what an awesome comforter The Lord has been to me over this time.
Look out for several blogs coming up in the next few days. A fantastic, blow your pants off update on Master 12s ADHD, a change in our church family, and my recent growth in knowledge & understanding of Islam. Two really fascinating, really positive growth areas in my life over the last 2 months. :0)
Blessings Peeps . xox