Good evening all,
As we come up to the 1yr anniversary of my Dad being called Home, there has been much reflecting on all things related to my Dad, his life… and gut wrenchingly, the weeks that lead up to his death.
The Facebook memories come up each day, and often there’s a memory there to do with Dad last year. They are getting harder and harder to read.
I was asked today if the year has gone slow or quickly…. I really don’t know to be honest. In some ways it’s been slow, but probably in more ways, very fast. As far as the feeling of time passing, it’s gone really fast, but when I think back on each stage of grief I travelled through, it really does seem like the full extend of a year.
I watched the video of Dad’s funeral the other day, and it’s actually quite hard to express in words just how grateful I am to be a year forward from that painful time. I actually couldn’t watch the eulogy part, where my sister, brother and I spoke. It’s just so evident how much pain I was in at that time, and sadly the memory of that pain is not dimmed if I think on it.
I have said to a few people lately how strange it is to think on the fact that while Dad has been in Heaven for almost a year, to him, it most likely feels like he just arrived… and yes, we’ll be right behind him.
There has been lots of talk about time.. the concept of time, and how in Heaven, it is mostly believed that there is no concept of time.
But, when we look at scripture, we know that there is, in fact, a concept of time in Heaven. In Revelations 8:1, we read that ‘there was silence in heaven for half an hour‘... and in Revelations 6:9, we read and when the Lamb opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony they had upheld. And they cried out in a loud voice, “How long, O Lord, holy and true, until You judge those who live on the earth and avenge our blood?”… .
While these could be put down to an interpretation, or the writers use of illustration, it still begs the question of why any source of time was referred to.
It was when I was watching the movie The Shack last night, and then again this afternoon, that I was shown something through a line in that movie. When Mac asked ‘Papa’, the character who represents God, about whether his daughter, who is in Heaven, was keen to see him, the words used were “She’d love to see you this afternoon, but she is also in a place where there is no impatience.. she is happy to wait.”
I know it could be interpreted as being the same thing, but I just wonder if it’s not so much that there is no concept of time, but, with full understanding, there is no impatience. No need to rush.
This makes me ponder how impatient we actually are in our own lives. As much as we love our children in every stage, we do tend to look forward to the next stage also. eg. My daughter is 17 next month and in her final year at school. So, the things ahead are formal, graduation, getting into Uni, starting Uni.. etc etc. It’s not that I don’t like the right now, but these events are the highlights to look ahead to.
By the same token, I often say how excited I will be to have grandkids, go on long trips with my husband after he’s retired, as well as trips with friends.
For some people (not me, as I’m crazy and LOVED the preschool years), they yearn for the days their babies are sleeping thru, out of nappies, toilet trained, heading off to school etc etc. We just seem to have this mindset of looking forward.. I’m not necessarily saying this is a bad thing, but it’s very cool to imagine our eternity where there is literally no rush. We won’t miss anything, or anyone.. as we have FOREVER to see it, them, experience this, that or the other.
Well, that’s my little train of thought to share with you this evening. I find it absolutely fascination to think on. And in relation to my Dad…. as hard as it is to not have him here, I’m going to have so so so much time with him in eternity. This little ‘gap’ in between having him here and us being reunited is such a miniscule amount of time, that it’s not even worth focusing on. (Yes, often far easier said than done.)