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Fi mum23

Royalty, Wife, Mummy, friend, teacher, student & fitness blogger

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difficulties in friendships

Let your character speak above lies

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I’m baaaaaaack….  Yes, I know, it’s been 6wks since blogging.  It’s not that I haven’t thought of it.  I’ve actually thought of it nearly every day, but I think the copious amounts of notes being taken in my Bible College studies, as well as the copious amounts of info being taken in, effects the clarity of what to blog about.

There is so many topics near and/or dear to me in these last weeks but I’ve decided to focus on the above title as it really does cover many areas of struggle in our lives.

One of my lecturers a few weeks back said “You’ll have people that think the world of you, have total confidence in you as a leader and steadfastly encourage you along the way.   Sadly though, you’ll also have people that despise you.  Be prepared for the reality that the closer you walk with The Lord, and the deeper you delve into the things of HIM, the longer that second list of people will grow.”

It’s extremely sad, and extremely difficult to accept, but all I can lean on is the absolute knowledge that we can simple SOAK in God’s word at all times. (& yes, I’ve mentioned this several times in my blogs over the last few years). When we are treated badly, spoken badly of, had lies spread of us, experienced deceit and harsh words towards us, we are in very good company.

2 Timothy 3:12 tells us..  Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 

Persecution is one of the last things a Christian would consider a spiritual blessing. Like suffering, no one needs to seek it out. Jesus did not avoid this subject, but spoke boldly that those who choose to live uprightly and stand for God and speak the truth will be persecuted. “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.(Matthew 5:10-12)

The word persecution literally means to pursue. However, it includes malicious intent. It can vary in severity from just speaking nasty words to inflicting brutal violence. Jesus said to be happy about it because “great is your reward in heaven.” Most of the prophets were treated harshly, because they confronted God’s people with truth and reproved their godless behavior and their hard-hearted unbelief.

David was persecuted by King Saul, among others. The motivation was jealousy and envy. Saul was tormented by an evil spirit. David knew it was a spiritual conflict and refused to “stretch out [his]hand against the Lord’s anointed.” He said in Psalm 69:4: “Those who hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of my head; They are mighty who would destroy me, being my enemies wrongfully.”.

How do we practically deal with this in everyday life though?  It’s all well & good to have these and other scriptures on hand to draw on when these situations arise, but in reality, it can be hard.  Feelings are real and it hurts when someone you care about believes lies, or is even the one spreading lies about you.  It always reminds me of that quote “Let your character be such that no-one would believe lies about you.”  I bring this to mind in these situations as, for me personally, I know I have such dear friends who fall into that first category above, have my back, encourage me, push me when needed, call me on things when I slip etc etc.

My biggest ‘take home’ on this issue though is 2 things….. the first is the obvious, lean on Scriptures, memorising them so that they’re easy to pull into your thoughts when needed… and two, ALWAYS try and see people as God sees them, no matter how hard that is, no matter how much the enemy tries to tell you they don’t deserve it.   You can usually find this an easy thing to do if you’ve had a falling out with a friend or family member, as you’re bound to have good, even fantastic, memories with these people, so simply draw on  THOSE memories and not the negative.  That’s what I choose to do everyday.  It’s not always easy… there are days that the enemy feeds rubbish into my head and it can get me ‘thinking’ instead of praying, but I just need to remember who has the victory and who is defeated and I’m able to re-boot my thinking.

Another aspect to this is that if you choose to dwell on something someone did or said to you, you’re actually not allowing the possibility that they have changed.  I have two people in my life that are very dear to me but have turned away from me.  Both of these women have amazeballs qualities, so I CHOOSE to think on that, pile blessings on them on a daily basis, and leave it in God’s hands to ‘do what He does best’.   I declare that even if these relationships aren’t restored one day, God will use even that for good.

Isn’t God just awesome !!!  Just being able to have that confidence that He loves to so much and wants the absolute best for us.

Ok peeps… Nighty night.  It’s to bed for me.

Blessings.  xox

The ‘fun’ subject of Judgement… YAY. . let’s discuss !!

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I am so grateful to say & know that I have grown immensely in my walk with The Lord in the last few years.  On the whole, this is AWESOME and helps me in so many ways that I’m always left wondering how on earth I handled situations prior to the closeness I now enjoy with my Heavenly Father, as well as intimacy with the Holy Spirit.

The ‘downside’, if you can call it that… (and seriously… Is there a downside?  Probably not seeing as God’s Will for us is always the best way.)… would be that it can become apparent to you that friendships/acquaintances that used to ‘work’ when you had a similar moral compass, or even just generally similar thoughts on things, now no longer ‘work’ even remotely close to how they did before.

When you begin to deal with this kind of thing, the subject of judgement always comes into it.. I mean, seriously, you can’t sit there ‘comparing’ (even subconsciously) your choices with another, without it coming across that you are saying that another’s choices aren’t as good as yours?  Complicated much ???  We are however, called to judge other’s decisions and choices.  We NEED to do this so as to ascertain whether it’s an issue we should take on as truth, or otherwise.

Jesus knew humans would struggle with judging and He contained a stern warning in His Word: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:1-5).

In this blog, I’m going to focus on the section “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

This is my take on this.. and feel free to call me on it if you think it necessary.  I will continue to judge others behaviour, in order for me to make a good decision as to whether those actions should be something that I take on, or leave.  However, I KNOW that I am to be a model of Christ to others, I KNOW that I am responsible for how people see me, my decisions/actions etc etc, so If I am to be a good example to others, I need to know that I am being judged by others TO THIS SAME DEGREE.  I know that I stuff up sometimes and don’t make the best decisions.  It is at THOSE times that I most want people judging my behaviour… for two reasons.  The first being that they would see that my behaviour/decision is wrong and not something they would want to copy, and Two… for those closest to me that I am accountable to… they can call me on said behaviour/decision and I can TURN FROM IT & LEARN FROM IT!

I do solidly believe that so much of this ‘you can’t judge others’ mentality is in part to blame for where we are today.  We won’t call others on their behaviour… but the thing is that it’s US that needs to be open to be judged.  That in itself goes against what society tell us though… apparently it’s all about us.. we deserve the BEST of everything, we can do whatever we want, and people’s opinion on it doesn’t matter.  In fact, society tells us to resent people trying to guide us onto a better path.

The biggest issue I’ve come across is that people think to Judge is a one way street.. when in fact it isn’t.  For example, if I’ve called someone on a bad decision it’s more than likely because I’ve already made it/suffered from it/learnt from it… and I’d like to spare them that process.  (However, I do realise that sometimes we just need to ride through a situation IN ORDER to learn from it.)(Also, we need to discern when it’s our place to call someone on something, and when it isn’t. )

I know that I can take being called on for a bad decision because I RESPECT the person calling me on it.  That word respect is one sadly missing in society these days.  The tough times are when you feel judged by a person that possibly has not earnt your respect.  It’s then that you need to take that judgement to God and get HIS thoughts on it.   Seek HIS will on the issue and if HE sees you to be in error and if you should be making changes.  The ONLY way we can make these sound decisions though is to be in constant communication with The Lord so as to KNOW His ways.  aka.. Being IN THE WORD !!

So, in conclusion, I don’t read that verse as so many others do…. as it saying DO NOT JUDGE with a FULL STOP after it. I read it as it actually is…  DO NOT JUDGE, OR…. etc etc etc.  I for one am resigned to the fact that I WILL, and in fact I ASK certain people to judge my actions, in the hope that I will continue to become more and more like Christ in everything I say and do.

Such a light & fluffy blog entry today don’t you think?  LOL.

Blessings Peeps xox

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