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Fi mum23

Royalty, Wife, Mummy, friend, teacher, student & fitness blogger

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walking with God

Keeping the mountain in sight

So, who else can go through times of losing sight of God’s plan for them?

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During one of my lectures last week, there was a great visual illustration discussed that really nails this topic on the head.  The story goes that a missionary went to speak in a remote location in India.  When he was picked up by his host, he noticed that they were heading straight towards the biggest, most majestic mountain he’d ever laid eyes on.  He was surprised to see how close they were actually getting to the mountain as they drove along, and was quite pleased when they arrived at his hosts home and found that the bedroom that was allocated to him had a balcony that looked directly onto the mountain.

That afternoon, the missionary thoroughly enjoyed watching the sunset splash brilliant yellows, reds & oranges over the mountain as it went down behind him.  A full moon then came up and lit up the towering beauty for the evening.  He spent quite a bit of time out on his balcony (is anyone else thinking that maybe this was kinda rude to his host??  Just sayin) that afternoon & evening and certainly by the morning, he’d made up his mind… He wanted to trek to the base of the mountain that day.  He went to his host and put the suggestion forward, saying the surely he could make it to the base by lunchtime and then head back to return by dark.  His host smiled and said to him “It is a very rugged 4 day trek to the base of that mountain.”  His host went on to explain that the mountain’s sheer size made it appear far closer than it actually was, but also, out of sight between the host’s home and the base of the mountain, were several smaller mountains, and of course valleys between.

This was used as the analogy to depict what our spiritual life can often be like.  When things are going fantastically, and we’re up on a peak… we have a clear view of God’s ultimate plan for us… the majestic mountain…  but when we head toward it, we must travel down into the valleys, through hard times etc.  It’s at those times that we may not be able to see God’s ultimate plan for our lives.  We inadvertently come back up out of our particular valley, having learnt much, and once again get a birds eye view of our ‘mountain’.

Many would say “I just wish God would chopper me into the base of the mountain, that way I can skip over the heartache.”  It would seem much simpler wouldn’t it, but I firmly believe that if we were able to do that, we’d arrive and find that we were ill-equipped for what God has for us there.

It’s in those valleys, and in particular, making out way out of them, that we learn our greatest lessons, strengthening & equipping us for what’s ahead.  God’s not silly…. he knows we’re limited by out ‘humanness’.  He only equips us for the next mountain peak and no further.  This was highlighted in today’s message at church, entitled Worry vs Thankfulness.  Matthew 6:34 tells us therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.  I believe that we can allow worry to get in the way of growth.  We know that we will have struggle ahead of us, seeing as we know that’s how we learn (and of course the obvious point that we live in a very broken world), but if we spend our time worrying about what the NEXT valley, or even the next part of the valley, will be like, we risk missing our lesson… and having to do it all over again.

This illustration reminded me so much of a previous one that was in Old Testament Survey.  Talking about Cycles (lots of focus on the book of Judges…  the Israelites experience a cycle of rebellion, retribution, repentance & restoration) and how God can be bringing us through a growth stage, but if we fight against it, not learning what it is He has for us in that particular season, we can end up going back to the beginning of the ‘lesson’ so to speak.    Just like the Israelites, who managed to turn an 11 day journey into a 40yr journey.  We may not have too many ‘valleys’ between us and God’s ultimate for us, but we can be stubborn and not learn what it is He has for us, therefore ‘cycling’ around the same valley over and over again.

I know for a fact that I did this within my marriage for many many years.  Oh my goodness, there were so many things  I was doing wrong… trying to achieve things in in ‘my timeline’ and using ‘my methods’.  I thought I needed to change DH, or convince him to change.  I wasn’t drawing on God’s strength within me and I certainly wasn’t doing anything about the enemies schemes.  I would give The Lord a cursory thank you if I believed I’d achieved some victory, or beat myself up harshly when a particular valley seemed excessively deep.  It wasn’t until I fully learnt & accepted who I AM in Christ, as well as learning to incorporate spiritual warfare in my daily prayer routine, that I felt equipped to ride through those valleys, as hard as they were, learning much along the way.

Believe me, I certainly don’t think I have it down-pat… NO WAY …..  but I have ridden through enough valleys now to know that I WILL get to the next peak if I keep in fellowship with The Holy Spirit and His leading.  When I reach that particular peak, I’ll be refreshed and rejuvenated by taking in the view of ‘my mountain’.  Each time it gets that little bit closer.  I’ve also learnt the hard way that it’s no fun to realise you’re back on the peak you started on because you didn’t learn what you needed for that season.  It’s not a fun feeling knowing you need to ride through that valley again, so that’s just more encouragement to stay the course & learn through struggle.

I can rarely get though a blog without highlighting the benefit of doing life with fellow Lionesses (& Lions for you guys reading). We are ALL walking this road with The Lord.  Our peaks & valleys can be really similar, or vastly different, but we lean on God’s word that tells that us in Proverbs 27:17 As Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.  Our sisters (& brothers) in Christ can often be the ones that can highlight to us that maybe we’re not learning all we can be in this particular valley.  It can get tough ‘down in the trenches’ and sometimes we get weak, drop out shields a little… and it’s then that we need our Godly friends .  We need to make ourselves accountable to trusted Godly friends in order to travel our journey WELL !!

Earlier this year, I followed a particular leading of The Holy Spirt in relation to a dear friendship.  I really really didn’t want to & it broke my heart to do what He asked of me.  The common sense side of me knew that there would be heartache ahead, for me and the person involved.  I didn’t understand His leading…  it didn’t look like a cut & dry lesson…  I wanted to challenge Him on it, as I had before on this same issue.  But, you know what… last time, when I challenged Him.. when I thought I knew better, it didn’t end well.  It might have seemed like it went well temporarily, but in the end, I was back on the original peak… and that’s not fun !!   So, right now I’m riding through a journey .. and it’s been tough….  it’s been tortuous at times…. but I’ve been through a few valleys now and I have absolute confidence that this lesson will be well worth it.  I think I’m seeing some light up on the peak, and I CAN’T WAIT to see what God has for me next.

And no, I also can’t get through a blog without tying in a fitness element… and do you know why…  these same cycles get us in our fitness journey too.  I know, because I’ve been on that particular peak before.  Four years ago, I decided to get fit, and did a very good job of it… reached my goals etc etc.  But I didn’t learn the lessons GOD had for me… I just learnt the ‘logical’ lessons.  Eat well, exercise, hydrate… you know, all the stuff a good PT will tell you.  I didn’t, however, learn the lesson that my body is a temple and that I’m worshipping God when I look after my body and make good decisions in regard to it.  I got the ‘physical satisfaction’ last time I travelled the course… I lost weight, I was happy with how I looked etc etc, but God wasn’t a part of my journey in earnest.. and I thoroughly believe I’m now walking this journey again because I didn’t learn HIS lessons last time.

This is why I’m determined to walk it WELL this time, learning from HIM !! I have a great PT & I love her, but my ultimate PT is Jesus !!  I’ve said it before… He’s with me through every workout, He’s with me through every thought process around food etc etc.

So peeps, if I can tell you anything… stay the course with HIM !!!  Even when it seems unbearable and you think you won’t make it.  It’s a heck of a lot easier to ride through it now, even when it feels like you can’t survive it, than to go back to the beginning and start the lesson over.

Much love to you all.

Blessings  xox

 

Positioned like a see-saw

I remember sitting under a teaching a few years back about how our posture as a disciple of Jesus Christ should be with one hand stretched upwards to someone in a mentoring capacity.. to someone who is further along in their walk with The Lord than us. Meanwhile, the other arm reaches down, ‘pulling up’, encouraging & discipling someone coming along behind us.  Someone that is a little further back in their walk with The Lord than where we are.

The person you’re reaching up to has a little more life experience than you, so is able to teach and help you through similar situations.  In turn, you can teach & help the one you are encouraging, because of the trials, struggles and victories you have walked through.

I also remember receiving an image about this, back when sitting under that teaching, of one long road with people littered all along it, all at different stages.  I probably should have drawn in it seeing as I wasn’t able to find something that I felt represented it, but this gives you an idea.

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When I had this come to mind last night, the Holy Spirit gave me an image of a seesaw, but it wasn’t like one end was completely up and the other completely down…. it’s not normally positioned in that way, and I don’t believe it would be nearly as effective either.  I think the image of a set of scales where one end has a slightly heavier weight onboard than the other shows a more accurate picture of the common situation, but as the ‘weight’ part of the image makes no sense, I think the seesaw is better.

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This one is more like it.

The person reaching down needs to have the HUMILITY required to fulfil this role in another’s life, while also having the WISDOM to take on this responsibility.

Something that simple cannot be in the equation is pridefulness !!!

Just because I like definitions, let’s look at some now…

First, a ‘secular’ definition of Humility –the quality of having a modest or low view of one’s importance.  While in essence, this is true, I don’t like it one bit as it doesn’t sit well with me when you consider that we are a temple of The Holy Spirit.  We have the power of Christ within us, so when I consider our ROLE in God’s Kingdom, we certainly do not have a low level of importance.  I guess what it comes down to though is the importance of that role, as opposed to the importance of us as a person.  That’s where the pridefulness can come into it.  If we are prideful about our own importance & think that that importance is  seperate to God, that’s when we will run into trouble.

A biblical definition of Humility  –God says when you are humble, you are free from pride and arrogance. You know that in your flesh you are inadequate, yet you also know who you are in Christ.  I LOVE this !!!  So so true !! Free from pride & arrogance !!

Now for Wisdom… the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgement; the quality of being wise.

Not bad…. let’s look at it from a biblical point of view though.

Wisdom begins and ends with the fear of the Lord. It isn’t a fear of being struck by lightning or fear of being struck dead but it’s a deep, abiding, holy reverence and respect for the Lord and for His Word, the Bible. The Book of Proverbs has more to say about wisdom than any other book in the Bible. For example in Proverbs 9:10 Solomon, who was the wisest man on earth, at least until Christ came, said that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” Where there is fear, there tends to be obedience and God has said He prefers obedience over sacrifice (1 Sam 15:22; Hosea 6:6). Sometimes obedience comes before understanding and when someone obeys what they know to be true, understanding usually follows. Wisdom begins with reverence for God and a fear for Him and His Word. That’s where wisdom begins. Where there is no fear of the Lord, there can never be any true wisdom. It’s just not possible.

Now, both these two traits can be tricky, and not always easy to uphold, especially in weakness during struggle.  It takes real DISCIPLINE to be HUMBLE & use WISDOM  to take the right path when in a struggle or under attack.

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Two other words that I really think needs to come into the scenario is COMMITMENT & RESPONSIBILITY !!  We need to be there for our ‘person’ at all times, even at times of our own struggles.  The only way we can do that is by walking closely with The Lord, digging into The Word & being accountable.

As a mentor, your role is to teach and inspire by words and example, so you can come alongside someone in their personal development and learning development using your life, Christian experiences, and education as tools.. You are a role model to someone. This is a precious responsibility that is to be taken seriously, but also enjoyed. You need to be one who is growing in the Lord, and who takes His Word and precepts to heart and to life. Because someone is placing his or her trust as a counselor and teacher in you, you need to be real and growing to do this right. Therefore, you are the one the Lord will use to provide opportunities for spiritual learning, development, and growth.

Matthew 12:36 & 37 tell us … I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,  for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”  Words hold power peeps.. in so many ways, so be careful with your words !!!

If The Lord entrusts you with a ‘mentee’  (that’s probs not actually a word, but you know what I mean) then see it as the privilege that it is, and ENJOY it, but never ignore the commitment and the responsibility that goes along with it.

Oh.. and one last thing…. DO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS RESPONSIBILITY !!  Treat it as the GIFT that it is.  You will grow through every moment as a mentor too… it’s not a one-way deal.  Another thing that has been evident in my walk and I believe I can pass onto others and it be of help, is this…  When God leads you in a different direction… be it towards a different person, or away from a person…. LISTEN TO HIM & ACT ON IT !!

Maybe you will be in a mentor type relationship with someone for a very long time, but often you will not.  People with this need or gifting come in & out of our lives at GOD’S will, not ours !!!  We may be of help, or receive help from someone for a season and that be all God intended for each of our journeys.  When that happens…  seek confirmation from Him.. and then accept & move on, being ever watchful for new doors being opened.

Isn’t it FUN being a child of God !!!!!  Seriously, I LOVE IT !!!!  So much to learn, grow in and become !!!!

Blessings peeps !!!  xox

 

 

Why worry… God totally has this !!

Who woulda thought, but man oh man, it’s complicated making decisions in regards to your children’s schooling pathway.  As you al know, I homeschool my 3 treasures, but it’s more accurate to say that they do Distance Education.  We are ‘homeschooling’ this particular semester due to changes at the school we were enrolled with, but this was always going to be a temporary arrangement until I found the best DE fit for my children.  I thought I had found it when I was told of a new College opening only 2 suburbs away, but further investigation proved that maybe it wasn’t.  Nothing against their curriculum or activities on offer, (that, in fact, was awesome) but I’ve been finding that my children are getting rather bored with their ACE paces.  While they probably would have reasonably happily continued with their paces throughout their schooling, I don’t believe I’m being a responsible parent to just continue with something they’ll toretate, but should find something that they will actually LOVE. (well, ok, at least really like.)

DH has also shown some concern over this year and last with the kids not doing a huge amount of computer work, with their curriculum being almost 100% paperwork etc.  This is always been a little bit of a concern for us as it doesn’t entirely prepare them for university where they will predominantly work on computer, transferring files, uploading /downloading files, making spreadsheets, scanning in & emailing images, getting files from one digital device to another etc etc.  As well as future workplace proceedures possibly involving all of the above and maybe more.  The on-line DE will much more thoroughly prepare them for the future.

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So, as a result, everyone is very happy with the decision to go with on-line DE as of first semester 2016.  Well, Master 10 won’t be so happy, as he has a further year of paces before he can go onto on-line curriculum as a grade 7er in 2017.

It has certainly been an interesting journey if I look back on the kids starting school, until now.  It seemed like it was going to be such a seamless pathway.  In lots of ways it was while they were at ‘mainstream’ school, but I guess with Miss 14 getting into the high school subjects, it makes things a bit more challenging.  Decisions needs to be made etc so as to have the BEST pathway mapped out for her to reach her desired goal.  And with Master 13 only two years behind her in school, these decisions aren’t far away for him either.

While the ACE paces hold a lot of great content, and revise a lot of important topics often, they are proving to be a little boring for the kids at the end of this second year.  Now, having said that, I don’t want to knock ACE as a curriculum as I really do think it is a sound resource, but I think it just comes down to different kids suiting different styles of learning, etc.  It is a real blessing to have been able to have these 2yrs with all 3 kids at home on the ACE paces and I don’t regret this pathway.

God has truly been so faithful to us through this time. One of those ‘memories’ came up on FB last week. It was a memory of the school holidays ending 5 yrs ago and I was saying that I would miss the kids when they returned to school, and then jokingly said “Maybe I should homeschool them”…. followed by a comment that went something like this “Nah, I care too much for my sanity to do that. LOL”  Very funny to read back on when you see how the journey mapped out later.  Is my Sanity in place??  Probably not at times (LOL), but I know that I’ve followed God’s leading throughout.

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With all this in mind, it makes me pretty excited to see what God has in store for us in the future.  Even when something has seemed confusing or illogical, we’ve always been able to look back and see that it was the best path for us as a family…. proving that God’s totally got this !!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

I can’t blog about this without once again mentioning the great Godly friendships that I have in my life, both homeschooling Mums, mainstream school Mums, and also educators.  I know that God has placed these people in my life to confirm leading from Him.  (& when needed, correct me of misunderstood leading.).  It’s also beyond beneficial to have friends going through the same decisions and being able to discuss things with them, bouncing ideas off one another etc.  I am also so grateful for the help we’ve had from seasoned homeschool parents who’s children are through and now into university, or even completely through uni and now in the workforce.  It’s been of great encouragement to have these seasoned HS parents to speak to as it really highlights how much diversity can be in a child’s schooling pathway.  For example, I have some friends who have solely schooled with ACE from Prep to 12 and now their children are either in Uni or successful in the workforce, others did part HS (with ACE or other great curriculum) and part on-campus schooling.  (This seems to be more prevalent in the southern states… it doesn’t seem to happen so much up here… although that could be changing.)

Also, there are many situations where children are HS’d up to grade 10 and then they go to a good day school for senior. I just love the diversity and that we as parents can really take control of our children’s education and make sure they are learning in a way that is best for them as a whole person !!

There are certain elements of our homeschooling lives that I won’t change with the transfer over to this new DE plan.  The most obvious being normal household chores and responsibilities (Some might be saying “Well, why would you think of changing these anyway?” but I’m mentioning it because some of these are within the school day, so I’m just making the point that these will continue around the on-line schooling set-up.).  The 2nd being our Character training.  I’ll still have the kids work on a particular character trait and corresponding scripture verse for a period of time that I will determine as suitable.  Also, excursions separate to those of the school we’ll be enrolled with.  I will continue to attend other homeschool excursions, as well as organise excursions with other homeschoolers.

So now to dive into the on-line diagnostic testing !!  Woot Woot !!  Fun times ahead !

Blessings Peeps !!  xox

 

Being in good company

I’m gonna be honest. .  I’m struggling tonight. 
I want to be walking the right path.. I NEED to be walking the right path as I have little eyes watching me and little ears listening to me.  (and some big eyes & ears too)
However these very encouraging facts don’t make the path any easier.  The bumps are still there,  the ‘stones’ are still thrown, the misconceptions of me by others are still there. 
I solidly believe that I not only witness to my children through things that I say,  but possibly even more so by things that I DON’T.  When I’m abused by a family member and I don’t respond in like tone or with harsh words.  When I’m treated like a ‘goodie-two-shoes’ but choose to stay silent and not ‘defend myself’.
When I’m outright verbally attacked,  but refuse to take the bait and retaliate. .. they see that.   & you know what else they see… the frustration on the person’s face when I won’t lower myself to their level. 
Isn’t it interesting (& frustrating) that we can KNOW that God’s opinion is the only one that matters and yet the darts fired by others still hurt.  I often wish that I was impervious to these comments etc but I also know that I am taught a lesson through everything single dig at me,  every single comment made. .. and every single not-so-subtle insult on Facebook. 
I actually started this blog last night but the fact that I stopped part way through turned out to be a blessing in itself as I actually needed to be reminded of my own words when dealing with someone today.  
Praise The Lord it was actually a really great day today spent at the beach with Miss 14 & niece 17 (well great day except for the sunburnt back of the legs. .. what on earth).  Lots of time to think and talk to Jesus while the girls were out paddle boarding.  Something about being at the beach (I think it’s actually in any natural setting) that gets me closer to God.

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I am constantly blown away of late with the relevance of each mornings devotion and how it has been speaking directly into current situations & struggles. If you don’t do a morning devotion,  I’d really encourage you to as it is just the BEST way to start the day. 
So, getting back to my title. .. with all that I’ve been dealing with in days of late… I am comforted knowing that Jesus was hated,  he was ridiculed,  he was treated as a fool… so when I feel treated like this. . I know I’m in good company. 
Blessings peeps xox

Eat clean.. train dirty… trust God

Eat clean… train dirty… Trust God !! So… after an up & down kinda day. . I’ve decided this is going to be this season’s hashtag.
I have had 2 opportunities in recent days to be pretty naughty with my clean eating plan. .. and I am so happy to say that on both occasions,  I was able to either stick with my clean eating. . Or in the one instance I didn’t,  it was such a minor ‘slip up’ that I didn’t even feel the need to beat myself up over it.
I am actually really pleased with my resolution on this.  I just know that I know that God is providing me with the strength and perseverance I’m asking for,  as I normally wouldn’t be able to resist these ‘treats’. As I said on a previous blog entry. . My bodies likes & dislikes are changing.
I’m also loving having my 17yr niece to bounce ideas off. She is a vegetarian recently having gone completely vegan, so she is full of fab healthy ideas.  She seriously makes the best healthy snacks… that you wouldn’t even think are healthy.

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(Ps.. She didn’t actually make THESE exact ones. . But hers do look just as yummy)
I’m also experimenting with my new Nutri-infusion which has been amazing !! I am really so happy with it. . It actually DOES do everything they say it does, which can be rare for things bought off the tv.  A friend  and I did a shop at the local fruit & veg market yest,  so I’m well & truly stocked up for some yummy nutritious goodness in smoothy form.

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This actually was my daughter’s first smoothy attempt, but I used her pic seeing as my smoothy had spinach in it so therfore wasn’t this pretty colour.

I read some interesting information last night about drinking berry based drinks with your food as it assists with digestion due to the acidic content.
Here’s some healthy info for you all on this and other healthy gut foods. …

What is the key to good gut health? The answer is bacteria, millions of which inhabit the digestive tract breaking down food, helping to propel food through the digestive tract and providing protection against harmful invading organisms.

Foods that are high in fibre, rich in nutrients such as omega-3 fatty acids, or that contain live probiotics, will encourage the growth of health-promoting bacteria colonies and support overall equilibrium balance in the digestive tract. Eating foods that are overly refined, processed or low in fibre will meanwhile place additional strain on the digestive system, potentially disrupting the important balance of health-promoting bacteria.

Berries are an excellent food for digestive health. They provide a good source of fibre, antioxidants, and polyphenols, which can selectively favour beneficial colonies of bacteria in the digestive tract.

Recent research on polyphenols has shown they interact with beneficial species of bacteria (similar to pre-biotics, which “feed” the good bacteria). The interactions encourage healthy bacteria growth. All types of berries, whether fresh or frozen, contain polyphenols.

Seaweed & chia seeds, as well as cruciferous vegetables (kale, cabbage, broccoli and silverbeet, to name just a few) are excellent foods for gut health; they provide various phytonutrients, vitamins and minerals, as well as a good source of fibre. Phytonutrients can benefit the gut by increasing the balance of good bacteria and also contain anti-inflammatory and anti-oxidant properties.

The fibre content of cruciferous vegetables is particularly important as it can help move food through the digestive tract. The fibre in leafy greens in particular also promotes the growth of good bacteria. Pre-biotics are food sources for healthy bacteria; without them the healthy bacteria (probiotics) are unable to grow. Hence, the growth of beneficial colonies of bacteria is largely depending on the intake of both probiotic and pre-biotic foods.
Yoghurt is also fantastic but it should always taste sour, not sweet. The sourness is a reflection of the lactic-acid bacteria that have developed during the fermentation process in the milk.

Regular consumption of yoghurt can positively influence the balance of microflora in the gut, creating more of the “good guys”, such as lactobacillus and bifidobacterium probiotics. These types of probiotics can help manufacture B-complex vitamins, as well as vitamins A and K, which are great for overall health as well as playing a role in a well-functioning digestive tract. They also help boost the immune system and inhibit the growth of pathogenic bacteria.

Sadly (coz I don’t really like it) oily fish – such as salmon, sardines and mackerel are an excellent source of omega-3 fatty acids, such as EPA, and DOHA. These fatty acids can play a vital role in healthy bowel function. They can work to lubricate the digestive tract and keep digestion flowing smoothly. They can also help to reduce inflammation and strengthen the intestinal lining, which can help to protect against gastrointestinal diseases.

& lastly in my disgestion lesson for tonight (lol)… Ginger is a traditional spice, revered throughout Asia for its ability to relieve gas and reduce abdominal bloating. In herbal medicine, it is considered to be an “intestinal spasmolytic” – in other words, a substance that can relax and sooth the digestive tract.

The active component of fresh ginger, known as gingerol contains anti-inflammatory and anti-microbial properties, which can alleviate symptoms associated with gastrointestinal discomfort.

Aren’t you all glad I’ve educated in this fascinating topic?  Well, if it doesn’t interest you,  try to get interested coz I can tell you that my body is a whole lot happier on a clean eating diet.
It does seem ‘un-fun’ at times,  but that usually only happens when your 1. Using boring ingredients,  or 2. Not thinking outside the box.
When it comes down to it,  it’s really all quite interesting and worth educating yourself on.
Ok peeps… that’s enough from me for tonight.
Blessings xox

We’re plowing an oval field and our triangle is wonky.

So today’s blog is coming at the end of an emotional day of struggle within me …  struggles that wouldn’t have been noticeable to anyone around me at any time today…   Many emotions.. frustration, sadness, confusion, fear, …..however I don’t like admitting to that one as it is a struggle in itself for me as I know that fear is the opposite of faith,…. impatience, guilt over wanting to control things, craving the man that God created my Husband to be… and well, so much more.

I’ve been doing some reading up on the topic of being married to an unbeliever.  I’ve done this many times over the years, but it is a tough one as we don’t fit ‘the mould’ of most diagrams on the topic.  My husband doesn’t have an issue with me going to church.. in fact he quite likes to attend, he has no issue with me tithing and quite often he will give, he has no issue with my Christian friends, he not only has no issue with me attending bible studies etc, but attends one himself with other men once a fortnight.   So it’s here where wives with a, shall we say, completely non-believing husband, would tell me to maybe pull my head in and get over it.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that in many ways I AM blessed with the Husband God chose for me.  We’ve travelled a very long and rocky road to get to where we are today, and even as hard as a day like today was, believe me, there has been far worse, days with far far less hope in them…. actually some days that appeared to have NO hope in them.  I can very clearly see how far God has worked in me,  in our marriage, in our family and in my DH, and I am beyond thankful for that.  I just need to remember to ALWAYS focus on that… especially in tough times like today.

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When your husband focuses so much on negative things in the world, and let’s face it, there’s plenty to focus on, while chosing to place no trust in God’s hand in ALL things, it’s TOUGH !!!  When your husband tells you that your faith in God is not enough to solve the particular problems that he tends to focus on, it’s TOUGH !!  It’s tough because I KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW that God’s is so much more than enough to handle all that is going on in the world today.  I lean on the scripture that tells me that Jesus came that we may have life, and have it to the full !! and Jeremiah 29, 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I am greatly comforted … but if I’m honest, sometimes struggle with….  the knowledge that I don’t have to be stuck in useless struggle when it comes to getting my husband to fully share/join me in my walk with The Lord.  I know that all I need to do is fulfil my biblical role in my marriage, and God will do the rest.  My responsibility toward my Husband remains just what it has always been: to love and cherish in every circumstance. The Bible says, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)

I can be at peace because I already have the Lord working for me. He is much more powerful than anything I could say to convert my husband, working through the mystical union in one flesh that the Bible teaches. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:31,32) That is why Paul could speak of the husband and wife sanctifying, of making holy, one another: “For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her husband .” (1 Corinthians 7:14)

In other words, I can stop trying to change DH, which causes strife in our home, and start believing for a miracle instead. God is working to convert DH through me, but by my actions much more than by my words. God may even prefer to do the work without my words. “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1.2)

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God has sent the Holy Spirit to change DH. I can’t convert him. No one else but the Holy Spirit can, because matters of faith are unreasonable to the natural mind: “The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, and they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.” (1 Corinthians 2:14)

It takes God Himself to convince people to believe. So I chose to release DH to God and allow the Holy Spirit to work. My responsibility is to be a faithful witness, not just sharing the truth but living it. Letting the life of Christ in me minister that love which will bring me and DH into that holy union that God has ordained for our marriage.

For me as a wife, being a faithful witness means respecting my husband’s role as the head of the family by being submissive to his authority. “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24)

Is that a tough one at times?  HECK YES when what I think he’s wanting to teach our children is nothing by Negative Ned Caboose !! BUT I lean on God’s amazing plan for DH and chose to focus on that, rather than the reality of the right now.

My title talks about an oval field..  I came up with that title after reading a story about a tennessee farmer who hitched a mule and an ox together to plow a field.  The story is an illustration of being unequally yoked.  When someone later asked him how it worked, he said, “well, it would have been all right if my field had been round instead of square, because we sure spent most of the time going in circles.”  It got me thinking of my own situation with DH and I had no choice but to come to the conclusion that we don’t have EXACTLY this problem, as quite often there will be periods of ‘straight plowing’ in our lives together.  It’s when we have some ‘curved’ plowing  periods that we kinda end up with an oval shaped plowed field.

The 2nd part of my title mentions a wonky triangle.  Now, this speaks to an illustration that I think of on a daily basis… I’m sure you all know it… that if a husband and a wife are walking towards God on seperate sides of a triangle, with God position at the point, then logic alone tells us that as they walk closer to God, they also walk closer to each other.

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We all know this first diagram… the way I wish my marriage was, but in reality, it’s more like the second diagram, but in reverse… I could only find this image to make my point, but you get the idea of my wonky triangle.  If you wanna get technical, I think that makes it a scalene triangle .  I don’t know if this diagram tells it correctly though for our situation though, as I wouldn’t say that DH and I are far from each other in general… not at all in fact. We have a very good relationship…  we are each other’s best friend.

More great encouragement for me comes from the fantastic Sisters in Christ that I do life with.  How I would go through life without them, I have no idea.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s just yet another thing that speaks to God providing for us in EVERY situation.

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Blessings peeps !!  xox

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